la di da

weirdly enough I have entered my hippie-phase. I am constantly wearing white and linen and loose clothing and colors and feel so nature-near that I go into the friggin' strip club in Tartu and stroll around barefoot. Yes, this is me now.

Today I replanted my fucking cactus. I am Martha fucking Stewart of gardening.
Why does this make me so happy? Because fucking cacti have thorns.
I wore a glove. It didn't really matter.
But hey, the fucking plant is happy.
Yay.
On a more serious note, I am glad to have finally taken care of my cute (and only) plant and wish to have many more cacti in the future.

Hard Rock Laager awaits, why Anne and her bf insist on going tomorrow evening already, I cannot fathom, but hey, what the hell. It's not like I've been super productive for the whole month in Estonia anyway. What's another day.

Here's are two awesome tunes for ya:

bloody hell

In anticipation of the new True Blood season, I have disappeared into a secluded fantasy bubble and read eight of the eleven paperbacks (mum gave me a box set for christmas). Didn't bother to go through the three newer ones I have in pdf format, though.

Anyway, now that I actually need thinking about starting work again, the bubble has burst and I find myself the lonely camper I have been feeling like on my unhappier days.
Curse the Sryian Internet and curse all circumstances that brought this situation onto my Beloved.

I do have all these romantic mental images of war-time brides getting no notice from their men and lovingly gazing into the distance, sitting on the porch and knitting stuff - but really, could anyone blame a gal for wishing for more than two weekly minutes on the phone and two talks on the internet?

and with these thoughts, Frustration Week begins.
Thank God I still have a glassful of Martini Extra Dry to get me better - and it doesn't also harm to be able to pour it into my new fancy martini glass.

Ah, never mind all the New Things (I've gone shopping twice this week, brief moments of triumph from the lovely second hand shops in lovely Tartu, now already not so smile-inducing...)

Frustration extraordinaire.

The only thing to distract me now is to get motivated enough and start working on something intellectually challenging, like my thesis.
So, fingers crossed that the motivation will gallantly land onto the balcony and give me a fuzzy hug when I go for my next cig.

Seeya.

idle

Yes, I am home, in Tartu, in my room, enjoying the vast amount of personal space, stretching from the balcony to the kitchen, spending time with myself and until a few minutes ago chatting to my favorite person in the whole world.

I just spent a (relatively) relaxing week at the country, read a lot, discovered the True Blood books which are really surprisingly good and not thrown into the shadows by the series.

Also discovered Game of Thrones, awesome series, not sure if I have time for the books though.

Also got to write a new book review to write in the internet journal. The book ("Feuer" by Chaim Noll) was quite thought-provoking so I have lots to write about.

And, I have a lot of salmon in my fridge so sitting and reading and occasionally browsing and going out to walk and run errands is just the quiet casual life I was hoping for while here. It takes my mind off the worries I have and lets me relax my brain for challenging thesis-writing days to come.

Ah, and I spent some cash on a new tattoo today. That needle-feeling is a thing I love.
All in all, a good life indeed!

I wont be idealistic here, of course I just cry and cry some evenings because my Love is far away. But one has to deal, and there are worse problems in this world. We will prevail!

:-)

(:

Apparently complaining is an effective method to fix things.
All is well again.

Keegi hea

täna öösel keegi sinust just näeb und
täna öösel keegi kondab sinu unes
vaid sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi mõeldes, et kuhu sa jääd?
kuhu sa jääd?
vaid sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi hea

täna öösel keegi kuskil otsib sind, kuid ei leia
sinu silmi, sinu lõhn ja sinu hääl
et sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi mõeldes, et kuhu sa jääd?
kuhu sa jääd?
vaid sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi hea

vaid sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi mõeldes, et kuhu sa jääd, et kuhu sa jääd?
et sinu jaoks on kuskil keegi, keegi hea
keegi hea, keegi hea

Oeh.
Hetkel ma ei tea, kus mu Kallim on ja kas tal läheb hästi.
Aga loomulikult on vaja valida selline, kes hetkeseisuga ühes maailma kriitilisemas piirkonnas pesitseb. Ja just sel hetkel, kui tema naabruses püssidega onud ringi tõmblevad pea iga päev, peab tema koju tagasi minema.


Mõeldes
et kuhu sa jääd....

Aga kui elu oleks lihtne, oleks elu igav. Amor vincit omnia. Mul on veel usku piisavalt. :-)